We’re often taught it’s impossible to be happy without a
partner. Everywhere you look, you’ll see articles about how to conduct yourself
on dates, why you need romantic love and what you can do to find it. If you’re
single, it can feel like you simply have no right to enjoy yourself if you
don’t have a significant other.
So, is it possible to learn how to enjoy being single after
a breakup, or after a long time spent yearning for a partner? Absolutely! It
just requires some shifts in your underlying beliefs, and a willingness to
emerge from your comfort zone now and again. It can be challenging due to those
social messages we all receive the importance of romance, but once you start to
thrive as a single person you may never look back. We’ll explore how to enjoy
being single, whether it’s in the short term or a more permanent lifestyle.
6 Ways To Enjoy Being Single
The first thing you need to do is believe that you can and
will create a happy future as a single person. Without this mentality, you’ll
constantly be sucked back into a place of wallowing in misery or feeling disempowered.
To shift your thinking, try looking at success stories of
satisfied single people, and think back to personal role models who have led
joyful and productive lives in spite of not having partners.
In addition, it’s important to note that your way
of enjoying yourself a single person may not be the same as someone
else’s. After all, you have unique values, preferences, and needs.
However, there are at least six broad ways of having a good
time without a partner, and you can then tailor these ideas to suit your own
personality. Let’s look at the six things you can start doing today.
Read More Dating Tips
1. Take Advantage Of Your Freedom
When you’re in a relationship, everything is about
compromise and negotiation. If you want to make a major purchase, plan a trip
or move to a new house, you have to consult your partner and hash out potential
differences of opinion.
In contrast, one of the biggest and most positive benefits
of being single is the freedom it affords you. What would you like to do with
that autonomy? You might want to visit the other side of the world, book a
spontaneous vacation to somewhere nearby, or buy something that might be
considered selfish if you were in a relationship.
The only limits here are the limits of your imagination.
Your life is entirely your own to define in a way that it simply can’t be once
you’re coupled up. And if you’re ever wondering whether there are benefits of
being single forever, remind yourself of the freedom you enjoy right now. It
can be yours for as long as you want it to be.
2. Have A Career Change
Many people in relationships also feel stuck in their jobs.
Once again, if you have a partner you have to consult the other person about
big choices like this.
For example, you might have to consider children, or the
desire to have children in the future, and you may have to persuade your
partner to uproot their life. The result can be an experience of being stuck in
a job you hate. Or, even just one that is “okay” but doesn’t make you
feel fulfilled.
As a single person, you can choose to apply for any job
without worrying about having to provide for or appease anyone else. You can
retrain in a new field, go overseas for work, and experiment with all sorts of
ways of using your talents. You’ll never have to carry that resentment some
people feel when they believe their partner has held them back from reaching
their full potential.
Read More Dating Tips
3. Learn About Yourself
Another reason to enjoy being single is that you have a lot
of time and energy for rewarding forms of personal development. One aspect of
this is the challenging sort of work you might do through therapy. This can
help work through old wounds and to create new patterns of behavior. This may
not be fun in the short-term, but it can create the preconditions for you to
have a more fun life.
On a lighter note, when you’re single you can also take the
time to think about what you really need from life. You don’t need to split
that compassion between yourself and another person. So, you can do
a daily mindfulness practice uninterrupted, take a duvet day, or be
as whimsical as you want about trying new hobbies.
Far from being selfish, this type of personal development
can inspire gratitude and give you the resilience required to make a difference
in the world.
4. Find Your “Thing”
Yes, there are lots of perks associated with having a good
romantic relationship. However, a common complaint of couples is that having a
shared life can stop each individual from finding “their thing.” This is
especially true of people who found a suitable partner very young. In other
words, exactly the sort of person we usually envy!
The key thought here is that we all have at least one
special thing that makes us feel excited, passionate and alive. As a single
person, you have better chances of finding that, and of maximally pursuing it.
Plus, once you have found it, research suggests that
this special purpose or source of inspiration can make you just as
happy as a good relationship would. Once again, the underlying message here is
that there’s definitely more than one way to live a joyful and meaningful life.
5. Give Back To Others
Being single doesn’t only provide you with more time to
spend on yourself. It also gives you unique opportunities to give back to
the world around you.
For example, you might sign up to volunteer with a charity,
use some of your free time to help your community or work at a helpline for
people who need someone to talk to. People who do volunteer work reliably
report that it enhances their sense of self-boosts feelings
of gratitude and increases self-confidence. While your primary
motivation might be selfless, it doesn’t hurt to know that you’ll get something
out of the experience too!
As a bonus, this kind of helping work also gives you chances
to connect with others. You’ll speak to people you may not normally have
encountered, and may well make some good friends along the way. Doing
something challenging and ethically significant with a group of other people
can help you to create and cement bonds.
6. Appreciate Having Your Own Time
Finally, as a single person, you can have a deeper
appreciation for your own time. Instead of having to do something with your
partner when you’re really too tired, you can honor your own needs by spending
the evening inside.
As you get used to being single, you’ll also learn to
enjoy being alone. The idea of so much quiet time can be intimidating if you’ve
just left a long-term relationship, but it’s very good for cognitive
development and self-care.
To start appreciating having your own time, try making a
list of 5-10 things that are good for you but that requires being on your own.
You’ll probably come up with more activities than you think, and there’s
nothing to stop you from doing some of them today. As with many of the items on
this list, the trick to actually enjoying time spent alone is to experiment
with new ways of using your time as a single person.
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